Neurodivergence and Masking

Have you ever felt like you're constantly putting on a show, like the version of yourself others see is only a carefully crafted performance? That despite being surrounded by people, no one truly knows who you are?

While many of us can relate to the desire to present ourselves in a positive light, this experience is often especially intense for neurodivergent individuals. People who are neurodivergent, including those with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, OCD, Bipolar Disorder, and more, tend to think, behave, and respond to the world in ways that differ from what is considered “typical.” These differences can stem from various factors, such as dopamine regulation, sensory sensitivities, or challenges with executive functioning, all of which shape how someone navigates the world.

Unfortunately, in a society designed for neurotypical norms, neurodivergent individuals often receive early messages that they are "different" in a negative way. Over time, these messages can become internalized. A child who colours outside the lines or paints a blue tree may be corrected rather than celebrated. A teen who enjoys bold eyeshadow might choose to blend in after seeing a peer mocked for standing out.

This pressure to conform can lead to masking, where neurodivergent individuals suppress or hide their natural ways of being in order to appear “normal.” Masking involves concealing parts of your personality, instincts, or expressions to fit into a mold that doesn’t truly represent you. While this may help someone feel temporarily accepted, it often comes at a high cost, causing exhaustion, disconnection, anxiety, and a weakened sense of self. Masking can also fuel imposter syndrome, that persistent belief that your successes aren’t earned and that at any moment, others will "find out" you’re not really as capable as you seem. This can be especially prevalent for neurodivergent folks who have spent years pretending to be someone they’re not. The truth is, you are capable. You’ve gotten this far through effort, resilience, and talent, not by accident. Even those who seem effortlessly confident are often just figuring it out as they go.

So please, give yourself compassion. Give yourself credit. Let others witness your real self. Hiding the traits you’ve been taught to feel ashamed of sends a message, to you and to others, that you're not worthy as you are. But in reality, the very things you hide may be the parts of you others find most beautiful and inspiring.

It’s okay to be vibrant. To be different. To be you. And if you’ve been hiding for so long that showing up authentically feels unfamiliar, you’re not alone, and support is available. Reach out today for a free consultation. Together, we can help you reconnect with the version of yourself that’s been waiting to be seen.